Right on Main Street
by Time Traverser
Summary: Two unknown men go out for a night at the famous House of Mouse. But are these two really so unknown? Meant to be a one-shot. No romance or yaoi. Rated T because I just like that letter so much.


"Hello and welcome to _my_ club!"

"Hmph! Move aside insolent duck."

Donald Duck glared at the back of Jafar's head. He barely even acknowledged him! Donald kicked at the carpeted floor with his foot, feeling wounded and a bit neglected. "Why is it the 'House of _Mouse_' anyway? Why can't it be 'House of Duck,' or maybe 'House of Donald?'"

Daisy Duck looked up from her guest list as she checked another reservation, "Oh, Donald. You know that you're just as important here as Mickey. You'll get your chance to shine someday!"

"You always say that Daisy." Donald grumbled.

"I'll stop saying it when it stops being true." the female duck responded.

Donald perked up a bit when he heard a car screeching to a halt, and footsteps approaching the double doors. Donald smiled and straightened his outfit, determined to be acknowledged. The door swung open and Donald made a bow and a sweeping gesture, "Hello and welcome to _my_-" Donald looked up at the person facing him.

It was a blue eyed, bespectacled young man, who couldn't be much older than nineteen. He had dark blond hair and a stubborn strand of hair poking up. He was accompanied by a grumpy looking man with messy blond hair and the thickest eyebrows known to man. He looked to be in his mid-twenties.

"Erm...who are you? You seem vaguely familiar." he gestured to the younger one, "But I don't know your name, nor do I recognize your friend."

The younger man laughed, "Well I sure recognize you! It's an honor to meet you Donald Duck." The man pumped Donald's hand vigorously.

"Oh, well...thank you!" the duck puffed out his chest a bit self-importantly, "I'm glad to see that _some_ people still have good taste, but...what's wrong with your friend there?"

The young man looked at his companion, who was staring at Donald, as if not ready to believe his eyes. "What is the meaning of this?" He muttered in an english accent.

The younger one just shook his head and smiled, "Oh, don't mind him. I think he's just star struck." The man glanced at his watch, "We're gonna miss the show! Thank you so much for your time Mister Duck." He dragged the englishman past the empty reception desk, and into the dining hall.

Donald watched the retreating form, "What a nice guy...hey! He never answered my question, I don't even know his name!" Daisy reappeared from one of the back rooms.

"That's strange..."

Donald looked her way, "What is it?"

Daisy was consulting a book. The title said, _"An Encyclopedia of All Cartoons, Disney or Otherwise." _Daisy shut the book, "I've never seen those two before, and trust me, I've seen _everybody_. But those guys weren't even in here. Not Disney, not Pixar...nowhere!" She placed the book behind the reception desk, "You know that only _toons_ can come in here right?"

Donald looked at Daisy incredulously, "But I remember the rules being something like, 'All are Welcome' or some such thing."

Daisy shook her head, "No, it's 'All _Toons_ are Welcome.' it keeps the riff raff out and the characters safe. Not to mention the prop room with all it's dangerous magical items. Did you never notice how its only ever disney characters who come in?"

Donald gaped as he took all this in. He shook himself and spoke, "So you're telling me that there are two _regular people_ in the House of Mouse, and they aren't even supposed to know about this place? What do we do?"

Daisy walked back to her post, "Well, I'm going to do my job behind the counter, and make sure that everyone who comes here is supposed to be here. _You_ are going to go tell the others about this."

Donald was about to argue, but thought better of it. Now was not the time.

He entered the dining area, to see that the show was just getting started. Mickey was saying something on stage, and Goofy was showing the Specials Menu to a table of princesses. Donald made a beeline toward Goofy, "We have a problem." He whispered fiercely. Goofy looked at the princesses, "Excuse me a moment ladies?" Goofy followed Donald a distance away from the table. When they stopped, Goofy turned to Donald expectantly, worry evident on his face. Donald surveyed the room and pointed, "See those two at the table next to Zeus's?"

The two men from before were sitting at the table, the englishman looking around him in awe, and the american watching his reaction amusedly. The englishman composed himself and said something to the american. The american snickered.

Goofy nodded carefully, "Yeah. I don't reckon I've seen 'em before. Why d'you ask?"

"Those aren't toons. I don't know who they are, and I want to find out how they even found this place!" Donald responded.

Goofy gave his serving tray to a passing penguin servant, now serious, "You need to tell Mickey 'bout this."

Donald nodded, "Yeah, I know. Just thought I'd tell you first, since you were the closest to the door."

Goofy and Donald made their way to backstage, to find Mickey and Minnie talking amiably to each other.

"I can already tell this will be a great show!" Mickey said enthusiastically.

Minnie nodded, 'Yes, of course! The villains are behaving, and Pete hasn't tried to stop the show."

Donald interrupted their conversation, "Ahem!"

Mickey turned to see Donald and Goofy. By the looks on their faces, something was definitely wrong. "Has something happened?" he asked.

Goofy elbowed Donald, who stepped forward. "There are two regular humans in the club."

Minnie brought her hands to her mouth, "Oh, no. This is terrible!"

Meanwhile, Mickey stared in shock, "You're kidding, right? If the other toons found out, they'd stop coming and Pete would shut us down in a heartbeat!" His usually cheerful voice now laden with worry.

Goofy shook his head, "Nope, come see for yourself!" he parted the curtain and pointed.

Mickey peeked through the curtain, and followed Goofy's finger. He watched the two men for a moment and came back, looking confused, "No, wait. I've seen them before..." Mickey paced around a moment. He stopped and snapped his fingers, "Oh, yeah! I saw them at the..." His face fell a bit, "...I saw them at Walt's funeral." His shoulders sagged.

Minnie patted Mickey's back, "It was hard for all of us Mickey."

Donald looked down, remembering that day. Goofy also looked down in remembrance, but his head shot back up, "How's that even possible? That was way back in 1966! Those two can't possibly be past thirty!"

Mickey shook his head resolutely, "No, that's them. I remember the taller one's bomber jacket. I was wondering why he wore it on such an occasion."

Minnie frowned thoughtfully, "Now that I think about it...that jacket _is_ rather old fashioned."

Donald also began thinking, "He looks kind of familiar too...from that one time?...No it can't be. That was years ago!"

"You know this guy?" Goofy pressed.

"He reminds me of the guy who approached me back in the '50's and called me by my middle name. I remember that because most people don't even know that I _have_ a middle name anymore." Donald said thoughtfully, "But that would make this guy really old now, right? If he isn't a toon, how could he still be here?"

"And who's his friend?" Minnie wondered. She glanced at the clock, "Mickey! You're on!"

Mickey straightened his bow tie, "We'll settle this after I get back, just...stay here." He rushed onstage.

Donald gave an impatient huff, and tapped his foot. Goofy and Minnie glanced at each other. A few more seconds of silence proved to be too much for Donald.

"Why don't we just take care of this now? Goofy, could you go take their orders? I'm _sure_ they've been waiting a while."

Goofy glanced toward the stage worriedly, "You sure this is a good idea?"

Minnie rubbed her hands agitatedly, "Shouldn't we just wait for Mickey before we do anything rash?"

Donald waved off their protests, "In case you don't remember, I'm _also_ the owner of this club. You all act like I don't have a say in anything! Goofy, just do it please? I need to know who these guys are."

Goofy nodded reluctantly, "Okay then...but only because you're my friend." He went back down to the dining area, notebook out. Donald and Minnie watched from a distance.

"Am-Alfred, why didn't you show me this before?"

"Because every time I wanted to show you you'd say no!" the bespectacled man, Alfred responded. He leaned back in his chair with a smug expression, "Ain't cha glad I dragged ya out here now?"

Goofy heard part of their conversation as he approached, "What can I get for you today sirs?" he asked, trying to act as natural as possible.

The englishman stared at Goofy disbelievingly for a second, "I'll just have tea please." he finally said after a moment.

Alfred looked at his friend, "That's it? Come _on_ man!" he turned to Goofy, "Don't mind Iggy. I'll have a hamburger with fries and a milkshake please!" he gestured to his friend, "Also, some of those delicious scones for my friend here."

Goofy wrote their orders down, "Okay then! Your food will be right out!" He retreated to the kitchen, put their orders up for the chef, and rejoined Donald and Minnie. Mickey returned to them just as Goofy got back.

"Where did you go?" Mickey asked suspiciously.

Goofy raised his hands in a non-threatening gesture, "Donald told me to take their orders."

Donald waited for him to continue, "And what did you find out?"

Goofy thought for a moment,"...The taller one's name is Alfred. He called his friend 'Iggy.'"

"Iggy? That sounds more like a nickname." Minnie said contemplatively.

Mickey snapped his fingers again, "I know! We'll have Horace zoom in on them with the security cameras! Then we'll be able to hear what they're saying." he glanced toward stage, "The Quackstreet Boys are still playing. Goofy, I want you to continue waiting tables. Minnie, I need you to have them play another set. Go ahead and announce the next act cartoon if we take to long."

Minnie nodded and Goofy gave a thumbs up, "Yes sir! You can count on me!"

Mickey gestured to Donald, "Come on! We need to head for the control room."

The pair did just that. The technician, Horace Horsecollar, was reclining in his chair, flipping through a magazine. A mallet leaned on the control panel so that he could get the next cartoon going with a, 'Hit it Horace!' The technician looked up in surprise as Mickey and Donald burst through the door. "Is something wrong?" He asked as he stared at the two.

Donald rushed to the control panel and rubbed his hands together, "Okay...which one of these is the cameras?"

Horace sat up in his chair, "Please, don't touch anything! That's delicate equipment for trained employees only!"

"Then get off your duff and...-r...j..b! " Donald was becoming harder to understand as he raved.

Mickey silenced him, "Now is not the time Donald!" he turned to Horace, "Sorry, he's just stressed. But we need you to do something for us."

The technician turned to a specific area of the panel, "Something about the cameras right?"

Mickey nodded, "Yep. I need you to take a camera and train it toward the table with those two blond men near the back."

Horace began pressing buttons, "To do that, I need to take a camera off the table with Malificent and the Queen of Hearts. Is that okay?"

Mickey responded in the affirmative, "That's fine. I don't think they're going to try anything right now."

Donald was calmed down now, "Could you make it so that we could hear them too?"

"No problem!" Horace said as he messed with a toggle and flipped a switch. he pointed to one of the larger screens, "Watch here."

_"Who's that mouse dressed like Sherlock Holmes?"_ the englishman asked, pointing in a direction off camera.

_"That's Basil from 'The Great Mouse Detective' of course!"_ Alfred laughed, _"Out of all of them, I'd have thought you'd recognize him."_

The englishman thought for a moment, _"So...the rather portly mouse next to him is meant to represent Doctor Watson?"_

_"Well, his name is Dawson, but he _is_ based off of Watson."_ Alfred responded.

The englishman nodded contemplatively. He leaned back in his chair and looked around. His eyes rested on a specific table, _"Is that _Elsa_ from 'Frozen'? Talking with Jasmine from 'Aladdin'?"_

Alfred laughed, _"Yeah, you starstruck yet Iggy?"_

Iggy shook his head, _"No. By the way, we're supposed to be going by our human names here. In case you didn't know, my human name is Arthur. Because it seems you didn't know it before." _he said scathingly.

"Human names? So they aren't human." Mickey said to himself. Donald nodded in agreement.

Alfred pretended not to hear Arthur, _"Nah, you ain't starstruck. The only time I've seen you starstruck is when a star literally fell from the sky and struck you in the head."_

Arthur smacked Alfred upside the head, _"Belt up, git. I will not allow you to ridicule me when you cannot even speak properly when you do it-hey, is that Minnie Mouse on stage?"_

Alfred nodded contemplatively, _"Yeah...but it's usually Mickey up there. I wonder what's up?"_

Arthur looked ready to continue the argument, but was interrupted by Goofy appearing on camera, _"Here's your food sirs. Enjoy!"_ the toon moved on to other tables.

Alfred removed the cover from his platter, _"Mmm. Gus Goose never disappoints!"_ he dug into his hamburger with relish.

Arthur shook his head at the american's lack of manners and removed the cover from his own plate, revealing a pile of freshly baked scones. He bit into one experimentally, _"Hm. Not that bad."_ he turned to Alfred, _"At least _someone_ in your land knows what a proper scone is meant to taste like." _he continued eating.

"Thanks Horace, you can put the camera back to it's original position now." Mickey nodded to Donald and the two made their way back toward the stage.

Donald looked towards Mickey, "So. They may not be human, but they're not toons either. Couldn't we just kick them out?"

Mickey shook his head, "No, we can't. It would cause a scene and word spreads fast. Although _do_ I think we should confront them at the end of the show and make sure this doesn't happen again."

Donald glared at the ground, feeling helpless, "They better not pull something." He folded his arms and marched grumpily back toward his post.

For a while, the show went without incident. The two men weren't causing any trouble and the villains were on overall good behavior. But such peace was not to last, for it was the day that Pete was scheduled to inquire about rent money, which was long overdue this month. A fact that has slipped everyone's mind.

Daisy looked up from her magazine, to see Pete saunter through the door. But he wasn't alone. He had two burly, lumbering men with him, with scowls marking their otherwise unremarkable, vaguely dog-like faces. Pete had an evil smirk on his face as he approached Daisy Duck, "Hello Ms. Daisy," he said with mock politeness, "Where's Mickey? My friends and I need to speak with him about the money he owes me."

Daisy looked up at Pete and recited calmly, "You don't seem to have a reservation, sir. Only those with reservations can get in."

Pete leaned over the desk menacingly, "Well, since I'm the _landlord_," he spat, "I don't_ need_ a reservation!" He ignored the duck's protests as he gestured to his thugs and walked in to the dinner theater, and made his way backstage. He didn't notice the blond man glaring at the back of his head as he passed.

"I _really_ don't like that guy." Alfred stated, his voice full of hate.

Arthur looked surprised, "That's the first character you've expressed dislike for. Might I ask why?"

Alfred scowled and picked at his food, "Pete's the landlord. He always shows up and tries to shut down the club." He paused, thinking, "But those cronies of his look like especially bad news...and that worries me." He stood up, "I'll be right back."

The englishman looked up at him questioningly, "You're going to go do something stupidly heroic aren't you?"

Alfred gave a small smile, "You know me so well."

Arthur shook his head, "I'm sure you can take care of yourself then. I'll be here, give me a shout if you require any assistance."

Alfred straightened his jacket and headed in Pete's direction.

The scene that Alfred saw when he arrived backstage was bad, but not bad enough for him to interfere...yet. He allowed the shadows to obscure him in the corner of the room as he watched.

"What do _you_ want Pete?" Donald Duck demanded indignantly.

Minnie Mouse backed him up, "Only authorized personnel are allowed back here!"

Pete laughed, "I ain't got a beef with you. I want Mickey! He owes me money and it's already overdue!" He leered menacingly over the two smaller characters, "Now where is he?"

Minnie didn't even flinch, "He's about to go onstage. He'll be back to deal with you in a moment."

Pete huffed impatiently, his smile disappearing, "Well, that's a moment too long. You! Duck. Find Mickey and get his tail back here now!"

Donald's stubborn attitude was a saving grace at this moment, "Thats _Donald Duck_ to you! There's nothing worse..." He continued to scold Pete, biding for time.

Minnie ran off, most likely to find Mickey and the rent money.

Alfred's scowl deepened. How dare Pete march in and act like that! What was a villain doing in a position of power anyway?

Minnie rushed back, holding Mickey's arm. She frantically pointed to Pete, who was by now arguing with Donald. About what, wasn't clear. Mickey stepped between the two, "Fellas! Fellas! What seems to be the problem here?"

Pete looked down at the mouse, his smirk returning, "Doesn't matter now since the cause of my problems just presented himself to me on a silver platter. Where's my money rodent?"

Mickey Mouse bristled, "It's right here." He practically threw the envelope at the portly character, "Now get out of my club!" his brow was furrowed in anger.

Pete put the envelope in his pocket, "Oh, but I'm not done with you yet." He snapped his fingers and one of the thugs came forward and grabbed Mickey. The thug picked him up single-handedly and held the mouse hostage as the mouse struggled and kicked.

Mickey was outraged, "What do you think you're doing?! This isn't right I tell ya!"

Pete put on a mock sad face, "Well, all these years you've been an uncooperative tenant." He wiped a nonexistent tear from his eye, "It hurts me so that you can't put the past behind us." He grinned evilly, "With all the late rent checks and property damage, I maintain the right to shut down this club, and sue you for grievances." He snapped his fingers again, "Grab the duck too. I understand that he's co-owner?"

The thug that held Mickey grabbed Donald with his other hand, "Hey! Let go of me!" the duck put up a big fight, but was no match for the thug's strength. Minnie cried.

Alfred decided that it was time to make himself known. He stepped out of the corner, "That's quite enough!" Everyone turned in shock to see Alfred, ready for a fight.

Pete scowled at him, "Oh, little hero come to save the day, huh? Well I don't know who you are to think you can intrude upon private business, but if you don't go away I'm going to have my associates take _care_ of you." He snapped his fingers again and pointed. The other thug started forward.

"Mr. Percival, I'm asking nicely for you to let them go and leave quietly." Alfred growled darkly, summoning a fraction of his strength.

Pete looked taken aback, "How do you know my name? I've never even seen you before!" he demanded.

Alfred just smiled, "Oh, we've met_. _You just don't remember." The thug took a swing at Alfred, which he actually blocked instead of dodged. His assailant grunted in surprise, and tried to kick him in the chest. Alfred deftly punched out his knee, splintering the bone. The thug howled in pain and leaned forward, clutching his damaged limb. Alfred held his head in his hands and broke his nose with a knee to the face. Blood sprayed as the thug landed backwards, unconscious. Minnie cried out in shock at the sudden violence. Donald and Mickey both stared, absolutely dumbfounded. Alfred wiped off his hands, "See? Now would he really have suffered if you just listened to me first? I'm not going to ask again. Leave. _Now._" His voice was like steel, leaving little room for argument.

The henchman holding Mickey and Donald dropped them. He turned to his boss, "Keep the money, I'm outta here. You should prob'ly do the same." He ran off and left through the service entrance.

But Pete was never one to listen to reason. He cracked his knuckled, "Guess I'll have to take care of you myself!" and charged at Alfred.

Alfred rolled his eyes. He grabbed Pete's collar and pulled the toon down to his level, "I don't care what kind of power you hold over this property, legal or otherwise. On _my_ authority, the club stays open, regardless of wether the show is going on or not." He punched Pete in the jaw.

Pete stumbled back, hand on his jaw. The room was completely silent, save for Pete's heavy breathing. He glared at the whole lot, "This ain't over Mickey. I'll get you _and_ your friend here too." He gathered himself and retreated through the front door, leaving the knocked out henchman behind.

Alfred looked around at everyone's shocked expressions and rubbed the back of his head, "Sorry ya'll had to see that, but that guy had it comin'."

Mickey shook his head, "There's no need to apologize, sir. Pete was going to far anyway."

Minnie rubbed her hands together worriedly, "But can't Pete still sue us?"

Alfred shook his head, "No, I won't let him. His claim to the land may be legal, but my claim takes precedence."

Donald looked skeptical. He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, "And what _is_ your 'claim on the land' good sir?"

Alfred seemed to have a short inner battle with himself. He came to a decision and started to respond, "Well-"

"AMERICA! What in God's name did you do?!"

Alfred smiled sheepishly as he turned around to face his companion from earlier, "I was...spreading democracy!"

Arthur brought a hand to his face, "Oh, lord. Just wait until I tell your brother about this."

Alfred made a frantic gesture, "No no no! Please don't tell Canada! I'll never hear the end of it!"

Mickey shot a confused glance at Donald, who shrugged. He didn't know what to think anymore. Minnie however, figured it out, "So _that's_ your claim on the land!"

Both men looked back at the cartoons. The englishman sighed, "It seems that we've forgotten about the audience."

Donald furrowed his brow, "Yes, and the audience is rather confused. Would someone please explain all this? How did you do that? How do you know things about us that most don't know? But most importantly, who _are_ you?"

Alfred and Arthur looked at each other. "They aren't human so...it's not _really_ against the rules to tell them right?" Alfred seemed unsure.

Arthur thought for a moment, "Well...that would be following the rules in the loosest sense, but I don't think you can really get in trouble for it."

"Not helping, not at all." Donald muttered.

Minnie laughed, "Neither of you have figured it out yet?"

"Figured out what?" Mickey asked.

The american stepped forward, "Allow me to introduce myself properly. My name is Alfred F. Jones, AKA the United States of America!" He bowed with a flourish.

"Showoff." Arthur muttered.

"Hey! It's not everyday that I get to introduce myself like that." Alfred shot back.

Donald frowned, "But...America's a country, not a person."

"I'm both!" America responded.

"Not possible." Donald said flatly.

You wanted an explanation right? Well, you've got one. Do with it what you will." Alfred said with finality.

Donald wasn't ready to let the subject drop. The two went back and forth. Donald arguing the impossibility, and America arguing the fact. Mickey ignored the two bickerers and turned to the englishman, "So, who are you?"

The nation looked at Mickey and gave a small smile. He held out his hand, "Arthur Kirkland, also known as the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. You can just call me England though."

Mickey nodded and took the proffered hand. Minnie took everyone's attention, "Mickey, the show! People are starting to wonder about your absence and the guest star has left already!" She ushered Mickey toward the stage, "Get out there!"

Mickey turned to Donald, who has accepted Alfred's existence by now, "I need to get back on stage, someone call the police for this thug to be taken away?" He rushed off. Donald left to find a phone and Minnie turned to both nations, "Thank you for what you've done. I can't imagine what would've happened if you hadn't been there America. I'm happy to meet you _and_ your friend here. Our doors will always be open to you."

America nodded, "Thanks! I think I might bring others here in the future. I can't wait to see Germany's reaction! It'll be priceless."

England looked at his watch, "Is it really that late?" He grabbed America by the arm, "It's time to go, no arguing. You have things to do tomorrow and I have you shirking off your duties for lack of sleep."

Minnie waved, "I'll tell everyone you said goodbye! Come back soon!"

America waved back happily as he was dragged off by England, leaving Minnie Mouse alone. Yes, she was looking forward to seeing them again _very_ soon.

* * *

**Aaaand done! I was wondering why no one's done this yet, I love both of these shows and I felt it needed to happen. So, instead of waiting for someone else to do it, I did it myself. Did I do okay? **

**Meant to be a one-shot, but I've said that before. We'll see what happens. Review please? ^J^**


End file.
